I'm a meth user

[stargazer44]

Nov, 19 2008

Thanks for all the Birthday Wishes !

103 DAYS CLEAN !

Thought i should share that i am 48 i have been a meth user for 25 years and i have lost my family they have divorced me, they don't believe I'm clean they don't believe i am going to meetings. On Aug 18th I tried to kill myself. After 48 years of life and never believed in a god or a higher power. GOD came to me that night and shoved me off the Railroad Track inches away from death. It happened, It was real and yes i layed there in the rocks and cried and cried and now after 48 i do believe and it is a wonderful feeling! I have found treatment and NA. I will tell you i have been clean for 103 days and yes it feels great! My family has kicked me out of my own house on Aug 10th but rightly so. This is the hardest thing that i have had to face in my life. So anybody else that has the same problem or suggestions my god please feel free to write me back or post here. There has never been a better multitude of people to talk to than all of you.

I have edited this post today Nov, 19 2008
All of you that have responded I just want to let you know please don't stop. Its helping me..all of you are helping save my life. I don't have a family i thought until i saw how YOU responded but ever since i have been with Wicked I have known this is a family..your family...my family..i love you all

thank you for believing in me

love always

stargazer


Thank you all

stargazer

[831Flyboy]

My uncle has been going through a hard time with drugs too, he works constantly and that seems to be helping, just keep your self busy and try not to think about it i guess.

[No_way]

It seems you got the motivation. That's important. Clean for 12 days, and searching for treatment. Sounds great. What you need, and I hope you got, is a hell a lot of self disiplin. Talking to people who have been throgh it is of course the best help you can get. Only real advice I can give you is; Never try to find excuses to give up.
Good luck to you stargazer. I believe you can do it. I realy do

[ding70]

Ive lost many good friends to meth..its the worse drug out there....i hope you can pull your self out of it mate and get back to a normal life.....everyone will turn on you......you will loose your family and friends..the only person that can help you,is your self.......this will be the hardest thing you have done in your life ,as most of your friends are now users and the most important part of your day is trying to score and get the money to do it with.Put your self in rehab you have a tuff journey ahead of you but if you can pull it off and stay clean life will have a whole new meaning............and most of all if you can stay straight use your knowledge to help others ..........good luck my friend please try hard ..

[supercaldera2005]

Hi Stargazer, Ive had my fair share of run ins with the artificial motivation. Twice to be exact. 1 of the runs was for 13 years, damn near straight. Second time was about a year ago, that one was much shorter only lasted about 7 months, only cause I lost the job that put way to much cash in my bank account for one single dude to spend. I have been clean now for 6 months or so. Oh yeah did I mention I am living with my mom. Yep thats right, I lost it all too. now im 40 and starting over again, meh what the heck, life rolls on, Ill get it back and then some. Anyhow less then 4% of the people that get hooked ever get off the merry go round.The rest are dead or dieing or in the clink. I quit it twice so you can lose this meth monster. Heres the deal though, lose all your "friends", every pipe toting, straw bringing, individual you know. May have to leave the state, leave it all behind ya if you can, if you cant find it, you cant do it. Trust me that method saved my life twice now. I would have to say that if it was in my reach, I dont know if I would turn it down. Anyhow I can go on and on, but not here, sent ya a friend request, feel free to get ahold of me. Until then keep your nose clean............ actually meant that as a figure of speech LOL

[AdamBomb]

I have 2 years and 8 months clean off hard cocaine and all other substances including alcohol. I go to NA meetings daily.
I suggest you do 90 meetings in 90 days. Get a sponsor and work the steps.

[LadyPucksMa]

Run as hard & fast as you can to get medical & emotional support to keep the monster abated. Follow Adambomb's lead, sounds like he has walked with the beast & knows the road to healing. I'd trust his 90 days of meetings...

[Re:Coverd]

Well, now I have found out that some WF members are ex-drug users, I may aswell come clean. I smoked marijuana with my friends for about 2 years. but then I decided it was a waste of money so I just packed it in.

Stargazer, I don't believe in pep talks. I believe in self-motivation. Sum up the advantages and disadvantages and im sure you will choose the correct path.

So, try to get your life back on track and most of all. Believe in YOURSELF!

[AdamBomb]

Umm.

Most of us do not have to think twice about this question. WE KNOW! Our whole life and thinking was centered in drugs in one form or another, the getting and using and finding ways and means to get more. We lived to use and used to live. Very simply, an addict is a man or woman whose life is controlled by drugs. We are people in the grip of a continuing and progressive illness whose ends are always the same: jails, institutions and death.

Call the help line:
http://www.na.org/phonelines/phonelin-toc.htm

Find meetings, Go daily.

To use for us mean to die.

GET A SPONSOR, someone with multiple years Clean!


You can PM me we can talk.

[stargazer44]

this is so hard. My family no matter how well im doing will not talk to me. damn i feel so alone. i miss my wife. i am crying roght now and i am a grown man. today is my 20th day clean but nobody to tell except all of you. i wish all of you were here with me because i feel so alone. i miss my family i miss my family i miss my family and they want nothing to do with me. my god..what to do..i feel very desparate..im done with the drug but i know i have a long rode but damn..thank you everybody

love always,
stargazer